I know it’s been a minute. I didn’t send anything last week, not because I forgot, but because I figured… maybe you needed a breather from my Monday drops 😅 I didn’t want to be that newsletter that shows up like unpaid debt. But I’m back now, and I’ve been thinking.
Is happiness a choice… or a privilege?
This question found me on a random Thursday — the kind that starts normally and ends with a heavy chest.
I had been eyeing a promotion for weeks. I wanted it so badly.
Not just for the title. Not just for the money.
But for the validation — that sense of “Yes, you’re seen. Yes, you matter.”
When the message finally came through, it wasn’t what I hoped for.
Someone else got it.
I smiled, said the usual “Congrats to them,” but inside, it felt like a part of me cracked, I questioned myself, and I know I merit it.
I walked out of the office quietly and went home early.
I remember sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at the wall like it had answers.
I asked myself: Why did this affect me so deeply?
And it hit me… I had tied my happiness to that outcome.
I thought the pay raise would ease my worries.
I thought the title would silence some of my doubts.
I thought that would be the thing that made me happy again.
And then the real question bubbled up:
Is happiness really something we choose?
Or is it something easier to feel when life is going our way?
Because if we’re being honest… It’s hard to “choose joy” when your bills are dancing azonto in your email. When effort feels unseen. When life keeps giving you almosts, especially in this country I am, as an Immigrant, knowing my skills and chopping “Unfortunately” like bread and beans
Is happiness a mindset… or a privilege?